Sex with a vacuum, hmmm.....is it that bad out here to get a date?

This had to happen in my home state of Michigan and even 20 min north of the city I grew up in, but here it is, whats up with guys sticking their dick in literally any hole??? Have you used your hand and covered a car wash vaccum and how much fuckin force comes out those things? It can take your damn arm off let alone your dick and im not sure how that can feel good? Maybe im missing something. Geesh. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,501444,00.html